no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
