It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
