How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
