She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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