I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
