Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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