when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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