OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
