I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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