you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
