Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
