Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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