chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
