I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
