I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
