I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
