Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
