I am in a vortex of obligation.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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