3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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