The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
