Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
