its not stalking. its research.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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