Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
