You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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