I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
