why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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