he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
