Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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