sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
