if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it's not cheating when I paid for it
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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