The maid of honor just puked.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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