This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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