Sponge bath it is.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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