Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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