you're like a bully in the Christmas story
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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