I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
