The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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