I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
