im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
