ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
That accounts for only three of the penises
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
