fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
