Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
