she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
