3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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