South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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