I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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