My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
