so that wasnt chicken after all
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
