You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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