If i come over, it means nothing
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
