I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think I died a long time ago.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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