is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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