Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
