hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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