Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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