Need sex. Gaining weight.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
