My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
