and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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